Querida Familia,
My heart is
just breaking because of the bad news from home. I'm so sad to hear that
Louise passed away. I really truly love that woman and I hope she's
found peace and rest in spirit paradise! It just hurts knowing that I
won't be able to see her again in this life. This is what I was most
afraid of when I left--that someone wouldn't be there when I got home.
And I'm so sorry to hear about Robert's dad. I don't know him very well,
but Robert is one of the greatest men I've ever met. I'm so grateful
for the influence he is in our family, and it hurts to know that his
family has to face this trial. I'm grateful for the knowledge that we
have that families are forever.
I don't really feel like writing all that much, but I
promised Dad at the beginning of my mission that I would always write
home so that Mommy doesn't get sad.
We had a super
busy week! And this upcoming week looks even busier! We met with Yuri
again, who was a former from last summer. She said that this time around
she really wants to know for herself if it's true. She's read a bit
from el Libro de Mormon, and she said that she wants it to be true
because she likes what she's learned. We also saw Porfiria again. Her
husband isn't interested, but she said she wants to keep meeting with
us. We did some "How to Begin Teaching" with her to understand why she
keeps receiving us. She said she likes to learn more about "la Palabra"
which is "the Word." We discussed the importance of acting on what we
teach, and not just being acted upon.
For those preparing to go on a mission, How to Begin
Teaching is SUPER important! You can find it in chapter 10 of PMG. We
use it at the beginning of every lesson. Investigators need to
understand our purpose as a missionaries.
This past week we've spent a lot of time with the
recent convert Monica, who we spent the 4th with. She's a single Mom,
but Dad is still involved with the family and really helpful. We talked
about how she needs to create a vision for her family of what she wants
them to achieve. Next, she needs to develop some family goals and family
plans. By doing this, she can protect her family from evil influences. I
have learned so much on my mission the importance of this process:
vision, goals, plans.
On Friday
we spent a couple hours helping Brenda. She's Hispanic, but attends the
Aquia Ward. She got married a little under a year ago. He works for the
Secret Service and was in Brazil the past 6 weeks helping out with
Mundial. She also went to Mexico to visit her family for 4 weeks. They
haven't done a lot of decorating, and she was hoping to finish that and
do some cleaning before he gets home. It was a lot of fun, but involved
some heavy lifting. The physical therapy has strengthened my lower back,
but I still feel a lot of pain in my shoulder blades, etc. BUT, the
point is, she asked us, "how am I supposed to know how to decorate?" And
the planning process came to my mind--it's so easy! Just start with a
vision, set some goals, and make a plan! It can apply to making a
family/personal constitution, weekly planning, decorating your home, and
more! In high school I was always super stressed out because I loved
doing as much as possible. Now that I really know how to plan, I feel
capable of doing even more! God is the master planner. Good planning
makes us more like Him!
We had interviews with President Wilson this past week.
I was really nervous for them. I think I've just been a little
disappointed with my lack-of-relationship with my Mission President. We
have a 10 minute personal interview with him every three months. Which
is understandable, considering there are nearly 300 missionaries in this
mission. We talked about my testimony and area and family. He asked if I
wanted to know what I'd be doing in the next few months. Then he pulled
out the list of incoming/outgoing Hermanas for the next three
transfers. In two weeks, only Hermana Penaloza goes home, but there
are 6 Hermanas coming in. In the following transfer, 1 will leave and 8
will come in. And then the one after that, 3 will leave and 6 will come
in. And after early December, I will be the "oldest" Hermana until I go
home in April (and I will also be the only Hermana going home that
transfer). SO, there will be lots of changes in the Spanish program! A
lot more areas will be opened and I'll have more opportunies to lead and
train! Hermana Penaloza has done a lot to help me prepare for this.
Anyway, at the end of the interview he asked if there
was anything I needed. I said no. Then he said, "Whenever I'm with you, I
feel like there's something bothering you. Or that you feel you can't
open up the way that you want to." Something to that effect. I told him
everything was fine and now have felt frustrated about it all week. I
don't know what it is I want. I'm worthy, I'm working hard, I'm
happy, I'm growing and learning and changing and becoming better. Maybe
I'm just frustrated that he's not a big part of it like I imagined? I
can't comprehend how the Savior can love each of us so individually and
perfectly when there are billions and billions of us--but somehow he
does it.
This month I've been studying the Christlike attribute
of charity! We were teaching this family that was really difficult. It
seemed like all they wanted to do was Bible bash, but they kept inviting
us back. Two weeks ago when we taught them, I left my own copy of el
Libro de Mormon with them because we forgot to bring a spare copy. It's
the one that Mady and Clarissa gave me for my 19th birthday. I haven't
marked it up a lot because I've been waiting for Spanish scriptures, but
it is pretty special to me. We said we'd bring a different copy for our
lesson last night. The lesson last night was so sad. One of the family
members had looked up anti material online. We decided to close the
lesson. Hermana Penaloza shared her testimony and we were going to
leave. She was about to try and switch the Libros so that I could have
my own and they could keep the new copy, but I told her not to. We
closed with a prayer and left. I had the feeling that I didn't love
these people enough. They tore us down, mocked what we believed, and one
of them even told us she was ready for us to leave. It's so easy for me
to love people like Porfiria and Yuri, but I need to love this family
more. So I left my Libro de Mormon with them. And we'll probaby never
see them again, but I know that I left something really special to me
there.
And I did get Spanish scriptures this week!
Lastly
I just want to share what I've been learning about self-control. P-day
was my least favorite day last week because I had a hard time focusing Monday night. It's really hard not being there with Claire (my new baby niece). So on Tuesday
I began a "40-day-fast" which I learned from Sister Miller. I put away
pictures of my family and letters I've received (no offense...). I've
also given up candy, memorized my favorite Spanish hymn, Divina Luz
(Lead Kindly Light), and I'm focusing more on speaking Spanish outside
the apartment. And I'm going to fast every Sunday until I finish the 40-day-fast. This past week I was way more focused than ever! On Sunday,
Hermano Messinger was teaching in Gospel Principles about the Spirit
World. It will be hard for people who had addictions to overcome them in
the Spirit World. But I think this applies to all natural man
tendencies. We need to learn to have self-control over our bodies in
this life so that while we're in the Spirit World, we won't be
distracted by insatiable desires. I don't have all my notes with me, but
I learned A TON. I'm also at the point where I think I learn as much in
Spanish as I do in English.
I love you all so much. I hope you have a great week!
Love, Hermanita Crandall
*P.S. from Sarah's Mom... here is a reminder of her current address!!
Sister Sarah Crandall
8 Ferguson Dr. #201
Stafford, VA 22554
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